


52 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/F, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-17
Updated: 2005-10-17
Packaged: 2019-05-31 10:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15117677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: She hardly got to see this side of Nancy...she seemed to learn something new about her every time she did.





	52 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**52 Bottles of Beer on the Wall**

**by:** Montiese 

**Character(s):** Nancy, Lauren  
**Pairing(s):** Nancy/Lauren  
**Category(s):** Humor, Romance  
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Summary:** She hardly got to see this side of Nancy…she seemed to learn something new about her every time she did.  
**Author's Note:** This is #14 in the **Love Connection** series. 

"Do you think Fitz will be OK for three days?" 

Lauren looked up from Mirabella. She pushed her glasses up on her face. Nancy sat beside her, feet up, eyes closed. One of her hands held Lauren's. 

"We are going away for a romantic weekend and you're asking me questions about Fitz? He loves Maggie and he is going to be fine." 

Nancy nodded. 

"Sorry, I am a worrier sometimes." 

"I know. He is fine. We will call him as soon as we get to the hotel. Then, if it's not asking too much there Dr. McNally, I would like a little of your attention." 

Nancy opened her eyes. 

"Are you mad baby?" 

"Nope. I love you." 

"Love you too." 

Nancy closed her eyes and went back to her nap as the train sped up the Northeast Corridor. Lauren lifted her hand and kissed it. She had been planning this trip for months, to coincide with Nancy's 52nd birthday. Nancy took time off work, Lauren put research on hold, and Maggie offered to look after Fitz. Lauren booked a suite at the Waldorf-Astoria and could not wait to be alone with Nancy. 

"Did I pack my black sweater?" Nancy asked; her eyes still closed. 

"I don't know. I told you to make a list boo boo." 

"I don't need a list; I travel all the time." Nancy replied. 

"That is why you don't know if you packed your black sweater." 

Nancy leaned over and pinched her. Lauren looked at her with wide eyes. 

"You bitch." She said. 

"I love you too." 

Lauren leaned to kiss her lips. Nancy pulled her further, deepening the kiss. 

"Nancy." She struggled to catch her breath. 

"Hmm?" 

"We're in public." 

"You started it…I just finished it." 

Lauren smiled, going back to her magazine. 

"Stop being naughty Nancy or I am going to say something that you will not be able to finish on this train." 

"You're evil." Nancy replied. 

"You love it." 

"I really do. More than I can say." 

\---------------------------------------------------- 

They went into their penthouse at the Waldorf-Astoria, followed by a bellhop and four Secret Service agents. The bellhop put the suitcases down, gave Lauren the key to the bar, and showed them how the entertainment center worked. They tipped him and he walked out. The Secret Service was busy searching the premises. Lauren watched with fascination as they went over every crevice with a fine-toothed comb. Nancy pulled her down on the couch, told her not to worry about what they were doing. As if Lauren could ignore four agents trampling around. Nancy put her arms around her, pulling her closer. Lauren rested her head on Nancy's shoulder and relaxed. They both wanted to touch more, but Nancy did not like being intimate in front of her agents. 

"All clear Dr. McNally." Carl said. 

"Thank you." 

"Thank you ma'am." 

They left and Lauren sighed. 

"What are they going to do all weekend?" she asked. 

"Secret Service stuff, how should I know? Do you want a drink baby?" 

"Yeah." 

Nancy made a fuzzy navel and a screwdriver before rejoining Lauren on the couch. The younger woman sipped her drink and smiled. 

"Perfect, as always. How do you do that?" 

"I was a bartender in grad school." Nancy replied. 

"You were?" 

"I didn't tell you about that?" 

"No." Lauren didn't want to say that Nancy hardly ever talked about her past. "Where?" 

"Some rinky dink college bar in Philly, Solomon's. It was a real life experience…and a great way to meet girls." 

"And how many pretty girls did you meet Dr. McNally?" Lauren raised an eyebrow. 

"I was pretty popular." Nancy said. 

They kissed and Nancy relaxed on the couch. It felt good to lay back and not worry about the phone ringing for work. She did not even have to worry about Fitz climbing all over her like a human monkey bar, demanding attention and asking loads of questions…though she loved every minute of that. 

"We better call Fitz before he goes to bed." Lauren said. "Then I'm thinking room service." 

"Good idea." 

\----------------------------------------------------- 

"Happy Birthday Nance." 

She opened her eyes, smiling when she felt Lauren's arms tighten around her. They kissed and Nancy closed her eyes again. 

"Not ready to wake up yet." She mumbled. 

"Sleep then, there is some time." Lauren replied. 

"Some time? You did not compartmentalize our day like you do Fitz, did you?" 

"It is too early for the use of such big words Doc." 

"What big word?" 

Nancy sat up a bit, resting her chin on Lauren's shoulder. She took the opportunity to suck her earlobe. 

"Compartmentalize. It can't be nine a.m. yet." 

"That is not a big word." Nancy defended her choice of verbs. 

"It has sixteen letters for God's sake. Stop it that tickles." 

"No, this tickles." 

Nancy began to tickle Lauren and she shouted. 

"No, dammit Nancy! Ahh! Get off me…ohhh stop!" 

The National Security Advisor kissed her passionately. Lauren sighed, running her fingers through Nancy's hair. 

"Mmm, it's your birthday." She said when Nancy freed her lips. 

She could feel Nancy's hands sliding up her thighs, pushing up her nightshirt. 

"Yes it is and this is exactly what I want." 

She stroked Lauren and her back curved. Nancy kissed down her throat before getting rid of the nightshirt altogether. For a moment Nancy just stared at her naked body. Lauren smiled, opening her eyes. 

"You're stunning." Nancy told her. 

"Come here." 

Lauren brought her close, kissing her. Nancy got right to business, making love to her with her fingers. She moaned, crying out. Nancy smiled before kissing her again. Sliding down Lauren's body with her mouth until she got to her breasts. 

"Suck me Nancy! Oh God!" 

Lauren tried to sit up on her elbows, but Nancy pushed her back onto the bed. She had slowed the pace between her legs; didn't want her to come too quickly. 

"You want me baby?" Nancy asked. 

"Oh, ohhh, more than anything. Always." 

Nancy bent her mouth to Lauren's breasts. She kissed, sucked, and stroked, loving the sounds Lauren made. She would moan and squeal, taking Nancy back to the first night they made love. It was seven and a half years ago…two virtual strangers who fit together like a lock and key. 

"Nancy! I love you!" Lauren exclaimed as her orgasm shook her to the core. 

They kissed; Lauren loved sucking on Nancy's tongue. 

"I love you too Lauren. This is a pretty good birthday so far." 

Her cell phone rang and Nancy reached for it on the nightstand. Lauren hoped it was not some international crisis. What was the point of having a deputy, advisors, and assistants if no one could make a decision without you there? 

"Nancy McNally." 

"Happy Birthday kiddo!" 

"Doug! You're calling me from Damascus?' 

"You're damn right. Have I ever missed a single birthday?" 

"No sir, you haven't. How is the summit?" 

"Shush, you could really care less. I don't want to keep you too long; I just called to sing." 

Doug sang Happy Birthday and Nancy felt the tears well up. This happened every year; he was the closest she had to a father having lost her own at 19. 

"Thank you Dougie." 

"Hey, a woman doesn't turn 52 everyday. I love you kiddo, I gotta go." 

"Bye. I love you too." 

Nancy flipped her phone off and looked at Lauren. 

"Damn that man for almost making me cry." 

The phone rang again and Nancy answered it. 

"Nancy McNally." 

"I forgot to tell you, there is a gift waiting for you at the desk." 

"Oh you." 

"Mmm hmm. Bye kiddo." 

Nancy flipped the phone off again. 

"What was that?" Lauren asked. 

She was up from the bed and doing head to toe stretches. Nancy admired the view with a smile. 

"Doug sang to me and there is a gift waiting for me at the desk." 

"He is so sweet. Do you want to get breakfast?" 

"Uh uh, I want you back in this bed." 

Nancy took her hand and yanked her back. Lauren flopped on the mattress, laughing. She caressed Nancy's face. 

"I am so lucky to have you." She said. 

"Damn right." Nancy said laughing. "I am quite a catch. Go ahead, ask around." 

\----------------------------------------------------- 

"Seriously, I think Evelyn Baker Lang is an excellent subject. She is the Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court." 

Nancy and Lauren walked down the street of midtown Manhattan. The temperature was in the low 70s, beautiful for late September. New Yorkers were enjoying what was sure to be the last warm weekend of the year. 

"I have to admit I find her intriguing." Lauren replied. "My Steinem book was well received." 

"Your Steinem book was fucking amazing. It should have sold more." 

"Agreed. It did alright though. Ooh, Banana Republic." 

"What an insulting name." Nancy said. 

"C'mon, let's go in." 

"I hate that place and you know it. Luckily, I have a lot of hours to kill." 

"I'll try on stuff for you." Lauren whispered. 

"You will?" 

"Mmm hmm, and model it too." 

"Really?" 

"It is your birthday after all." 

"Can we go to Ann Taylor next?" Nancy asked. 

"Anywhere you want." 

A long day of shopping and walking around New York, with lunch in between at The Harrison, was ended at Salonica Fantastique. Nancy and Lauren both received pedicures and manicures. They were in a private room, and the women got a kick out of the agents. 

"Do they stick to you all the time?" the young girl soaking Nancy's feet asked. 

"Yeah. You get used to it after a while." 

"Do you have control over pushing the button?" another girl asked. 

"My job is very complex. I am one of so many. What color is that you're wearing…I love it." 

"Its Blue Hawaii. Do you want it on your toes ma'am?" 

"I do. And it is Nancy please. I am ma'am all day long. This is Lauren." 

"Hey." Lauren said. 

"Are you two…" the youngest girl in the room, about 17, could not finish her sentence. 

Lauren smiled behind her Cosmo. 

"Yes, we are lesbians." Nancy replied. "It's OK, everyone knows." 

"It's also Nancy's birthday." Lauren said. "In the interest of full disclosure." 

A chorus of Happy Birthday followed. Then it was declared that everything would be half-price. Nancy thanked them for their kindness; still she said it was unnecessary. 

"Oh no, it is the least we can do for the Secretary of State." 

Lauren couldn't help but laugh. 

"Wow Nance, you just got a promotion." 

\---------------------------------------------------- 

Dinner was casual, at the Bull and Bear restaurant inside the hotel. Nancy was not very hungry, so she ordered the calamari and shrimp appetizer. It was certainly big enough, and Lauren loved her spicy chicken salad. 

"Would you like another glass of Chardonnay?" the server asked Lauren. 

She nodded. He smiled at Nancy. 

"And what can I get you ma'am? Or is water just fine for now?" 

He wore a friendly smile and Nancy thought him attractive. If she liked men she definitely would have flirted with him. Of course Lauren looked amazing in her men's dress shirt, dark blue jeans and high heel boots. Nancy McNally was only looking at one person tonight. 

"How many different beers do you have here?" she asked. 

"Ninety ma'am. A variety from all over the world. I can bring you our beer menu if you'd like." 

"No thank you. How large are your sample glasses?" 

"2 ounces." 

"I would like 52 samples of your finest…dealer's choice." 

"Are you sure ma'am?" he asked. 

"I only have to make it upstairs. It is my birthday and I am going to live dangerously. I know when to say when so don't worry. Four at a time please." 

"Yes ma'am." 

"That is 104 ounces of beer." Lauren said in a matter of fact tone when the server was out of earshot. 

"I know. Fun, huh?" 

Lauren didn't know how fun it would be later but she smiled. She hardly got to see this side of Nancy…she seemed to learn something new about her every time she did. Reaching across the table, Lauren took her hand. 

"What am I going to do with you naughty Nancy?" she asked. 

"I have some ideas, but if I said them in public I could be arrested for indecency." 

"Ooh, my interests are peaked." 

"You just wait until I get you upstairs pretty baby." 

"Chardonnay." He placed the glass of wine in front of Lauren. "And for the birthday girl I thought I would start you off with Yuengling Lager, Guinness Stout, Hoegaarden, and Foster's Ale." 

"Great, thank you." 

Nancy held up one of her six-ounce tumblers, a third filled with beer. 

"Cheers baby." 

"Cheers." 

The beer kept coming as they munched on dinner. Miller High Life, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Genesee, Samuel Adams, Keating Ale, Dos Equis, Bravaria, Colvert, Rebel Original, Harp, Coors, Steinlager, Palma Louca, Maccabee, Victory Golden Monkey, Fursty Ferret…the list was endless. 

"Did I ever tell you about the six weeks I backpacked through Europe?" Nancy asked. 

She was feeling it now, though did not seem in danger of slowing down. Four more beers were placed in front of her. 

"No. Tell me." 

"It was the summer of 1976…the Bicentennial. Me and two friends from Wellesley. Oh God, we crashed in parks and met reggae musicians in Berlin. We walked the streets of Amsterdam all night pontificating about Goethe. I fell in love in Prague with Mariana. For the life of me, I could never remember her last name. She was the first and last blonde-haired woman in my life. Did you ever do anything crazy like that?" 

"I camped out for 42 hours to get good seats to a Rolling Stones concert." Lauren replied. 

"You don't like the Stones." 

"Jana Werthmann liked the Stones. The things we do for love. Oh, and I skydived…once again for some girl." 

"What! When? Wow, I should do that. You know what; as soon as I resign I am going to do that. I seduced a man once." 

"Tell me about it." Lauren said. 

"At Penn. His name was…damn, my memory is failing tonight. Anyway, beautiful black man. It was a one-night stand and we both knew it. I just wanted to be completely sure you know. Some people go both ways." 

"You didn't like it?" 

"I didn't hate it. It was OK. The intimacy was not there for me. And he was too pushy, sweaty, grunted too much. But man was he a sight to look at. Yeah, James Sutcliffe. I think he works at the American Embassy in London now." 

"I lost my virginity at 19. It was definitely not my thing but for some strange reason I thought I better. It was with Kenny Altman at Berkeley…he played the bass in a ska band. I mean, guys are OK, you know." 

"Nice to look at, like Jaguars." Nancy replied laughing. "Oh shit, that was a pretty sexist statement. I loved it! I think I may be drunk baby." 

"I know you are." 

"You're so beautiful, you know that." 

"So are you boo boo." 

More beer for Nancy. She took all 52 samples like a trooper. By the time they left the restaurant, after two cups of coffee, two glasses of water, and three trips to the ladies room, Nancy was walking upright but leaning heavily on Lauren for support. Moral support, she declared, as her walking abilities were stellar. 

"I can see the _New York Times_ now." She mused. "Drunken National Security Advisor makes ass of herself at classic New York hotel. Whoa, these damn things have to go." 

Nancy stepped out of her Prada pumps and did not miss a step with her agents. Lauren bent to pick them up. 

"This was an excellent birthday." She said as they waited for the elevator. "Don't ever let me do that again." 

The six of them, Nancy, Lauren, and four agents, got onto the elevator. She put her hands on Lauren's hips. 

"Don't do anything crazy Nance." She whispered. "We will be in the room in a few minutes." 

"Kissing you is not crazy." She said, louder than she intended. "Hey Joe, is kissing her crazy?" 

"Ma'am?" the agent looked at her. 

"Kissing her is not crazy, is it? I mean, look how cute she is. I can kiss her can't I? I mean, it is my birthday and I am allowed some freedoms on my birthday." 

"Yes ma'am." 

Nancy smiled. 

"See, it is OK with Joe." She said. 

"Well hell, if Joe likes it I love it Nance." Lauren replied. 

"Come here baby, stop being difficult." 

Lauren was saved by the elevator door opening. Two agents stepped off first and then everyone else. The room had already been inspected so Nancy and Lauren were allowed to go in alone. The doors were barely closed when Lauren received a fiery kiss. 

"Mmm, you taste like cherry Chapstick." Nancy said. 

"Funny, you taste like beer." 

"I have to pee." 

Lauren laughed, following her into the bedroom. When Nancy came out of the bathroom, her wife wore only a bra and panties. Nancy gave her a lascivious grin. 

"Hey baby." Her voice was husky but her speech slurred. 

"Hello." Lauren sat on the bed. 

Nancy started to saunter toward the bed, doing a good job considering. 

"Are you going to give it to me?" Nancy asked. 

"What?" 

"You know what. I want you to give it to me baby. Ooh, give it to me baby." 

She started to dance, singing the famous Rick James song. Lauren couldn't take anymore. She fell over on the bed laughing. Laughing so hard she even snorted a few times. 

"That is not right Lauren, laughing at me. I love that song." She started to sing again. 

"The only thing you are getting is a good night's sleep. If we're lucky you'll be OK in the morning. Come over here; I'll help you undress." 

Nancy plopped beside her on the bed, letting Lauren help her out of her clothes. 

__When I came home last night  
You wouldn't make love to me  
You went fast to sleep  
You wouldn't even talk to me  
You said I'm so crazy  
Coming home intoxicated  
I just want to love you  
That is why I'm so elated  


"I want to love you baby doll…that is why I am so elated." Nancy said. 

"Good. I am elated too." 

Lauren kissed her lips quickly. 

"Uh uh. Don't kiss me if you're not going to give me any." 

"Shush. Lay down with me boo boo." 

Lauren laid on the bed, wrapping her arms around Nancy. The National Security Advisor put her cheek on her breast and stroked her stomach. 

"You feel so good." 

"Stop it and go to sleep." 

"I don't want to sleep; I want to make love. Girl, you know I can make you scream. I'll turn you upside down if you want me to. You know how good it is. You get me so hot and I am going to tear you up. I'm gonna work you like a part-time job. We…" 

Lauren looked at her. Nancy was sound asleep. She smiled, kissing her forehead. 

"Happy Birthday Nancy." 

\------------------------------------------------------ 

"Oh shit! Oh God baby!" 

Nancy woke the next morning to find Lauren's face between her thighs. Here fingers played inside her while she sucked her clit gently. Lauren reached her other hand up to squeeze Nancy's breast. She moaned, putting her hand on top of Lauren's. Her head tossed back and forth on the pillow as her hips pushed upward. 

"Ohhh…baby don't stop." 

Lauren moved faster and Nancy crashed into her orgasm with a whimper that almost made Lauren come just from the sound of it. She brought Lauren's mouth to hers, kissing until she could taste Lauren and not herself. Lauren pulled away to catch her breath. 

"How do you feel?" she asked. 

"After that? Like I could climb Mount Everest. My stomach feels raw but other than that OK. I took two Motrin last night before bed. Did I do anything crazy last night?" 

"Nope." 

"Really baby, I have to compliment your choice of wake-up calls. It was perfect." 

Nancy gently kissed her lips. Lauren straddled her and caressed her breasts. 

"I love you so much Nancy." 

"I love you too." 

They made love and then spooned in the big bed. 

"Hey!" Nancy said suddenly. 

"Hmm?" Lauren was falling asleep. 

"You didn't give me my gift last night. You didn't get me anything for my birthday." 

"Wait a minute." Lauren turned in her arms. "Yes I did." 

"Yeah? Where is it then?" 

Lauren smiled, caressing her face. 

"If you want to get up, it is in the drawer over there." 

Nancy climbed out of bed like a gleeful child. She had to stand still for a moment; get her bearings. Whoa, she was never drinking again. 

"Are you OK?" Lauren asked. 

"I think so. Wow, I got woozy. This drawer?" 

"Mmm hmm." 

Nancy took the gift bag and sat at the end of the bed. Lauren crawled down, massaging her shoulders. The first thing she pulled out was a CD. 

"Aw, its all of our songs." She said. 

"Yeah. Now you can listen to it whenever you're far away." 

Nancy had all the songs on her IPod but she loved it anyway. _You and Me, I'd Rather_ , _I Thought About You_ , _Leaving on a Jet Plane_ , _True Companion_ , and other songs they loved. Then she pulled a photo frame from the bag. It was wrapped in tissue paper that Nancy ripped off. In a sterling sliver frame there was a picture of Nancy, Lauren, and Fitz taken at the Grand Canyon last month. 

"This is so adorable." She tilted her chin up to kiss Lauren's lips. 

She pulled out the _Best of COPS_ on DVD, a Bulova watch, and three different massage oils. 

"Thank you Lauren, its wonderful." 

They kissed again. Lauren wished her a Happy Birthday and climbed off the bed. She grabbed a tee shirt from the floor, not caring who it belonged to. 

"Let's eat breakfast." Lauren said. "You should think about going down to the desk to get Doug's gift." 

"Oh, yeah." 

Lauren looked at her. 

"What's the matter boo boo?" 

"Hmm? Nothing; breakfast sounds like a plan." 

"Something is the matter Nancy. Didn't you like your gift?" 

"Of course. Its so lovely." 

"Are you sure?" Lauren asked. 

"Yeah." 

"But something is missing, right?" The big to-do? The ta-da?" 

Nancy smiled, despite herself. She never wanted Lauren to think she was upset, especially when she wasn't. Still, it did feel like a piece was missing. 

"Maybe there was something else in the drawer. Did you look hard?" 

"Huh?" 

"I'll look." 

Lauren went over and opened the drawer. Nancy liked the look of her bare ass perched in the air. 

"Aha, what is this? An envelope with your name on it." She gave it to Nancy. "Open it." 

Nancy tore open the envelope, gasping. She held in her hands two first class tickets to Athens. 

"Happy Birthday love." 

She looked up and the tears fell down her face. 

"Oh Lauren." 

She pulled the younger woman on her lap and held her close. 

"This is…amazing. Thank you." 

Lauren had never seen Nancy cry tears of happiness. She had only ever cried once in front of her in their nearly eight-year relationship. She moved closer to Nancy so she wouldn't fall on the floor. 

"So you like it?" Lauren asked. 

"Oh my God, I absolutely love it. And I love you. I love you so much baby. Thank you, thank you, thank you." 

Nancy kissed her several times. 

"You're welcome. OK, lets get some food in you." 

Lauren got up and started for the bedroom door. 

"Lauren?" 

She turned. 

"This is…baby you are so amazing. I love that I am going to the place I dreamed of for so long with the woman I love most in the world. This is a dream come true but even if I never got there, being with you is all the dream I need." 

Lauren bit down on her lower lip. They looked at each other and Nancy opened her arms. 

"Breakfast can definitely wait." Lauren replied, walking back to the bed. 


End file.
